AMAZEBALLS

So of course The Benefit was AMAZEBALLS!!! Lady Gaga and JT were at their finest and Jon and Kate were at their worst! My little seating “mix-up” really caused quite the ruckus! Jon ended up slapping the oversized glasses right off of Kate’s face!

In an effort to make amends I have posted some replacements for her! Also, thanks to my incredible contacts and planning skills, there isn’t a chihuahua in Bev Hills that will go without his fill of chow for at least the next few months!

Thanks to all esp. Kate! Here’s to you -for taking one for the team and getting us all that fab publicity!

Brit

To all of you who weren’t fortunate enough to catch my good friend Britney at the Staples Center for her Circus tour this past month: I feel so sorry for you and your pathetic lives (Saige). I of course was sitting a respectable distance away with all of the industry people. We weren’t dancing (because we’re too cool) but we were judging!

The production honestly left a little to be desired. Sure there were plenty of fireworks and enough dancers to start a small sexy army, but nothing really wowed me into frenzy. The last time I saw her, a full on rainstorm happened on stage.

That said, her body and her lip syncing were fantastic. In honor of her freak-out-less tour, I have picked some Britney inspired products for you to buy immediately. These EKG leggings –because her pulse was off the charts and she was wearing nothing but sparkles, and this CC Skye bag –because chains were everywhere and Brittney loves bondage.

Bored Out Of My Mind!

For the past week I have been bored out of my mind! This week is as uneventful as the last. In fact it's more uneventful because I can't even find an event worth making fun of! I should have stayed on vacation!

Anyway, when times like these persist, there are but two things I can do; shop and stir up controversy. And since I'm shopping online already, I would like to stir up some controversy. So last week, as you'll remember, I mentioned a birthday party that I wouldn't be caught dead attending (Speidi's). Well Saige on the other hand, being the ultra socialite that she is, was more than delighted to attend. Not only was she there, but she immediately posted the pictures she took at the party on Facebook. She has since removed them (most likely in light of Heidi's much made fun of performance at the Miss Universe Pageant - as if they weren't already embarassing enough to be seen with) but trust me, the pics were up and they were pathetic.

As sad as it was that she went, at least she looked decent. She came a long way from her dumpy, birkenstocky get up and I'm proud of her. She was wearing a dress by Haute Hippie with a pair of L.A.M.B. heels and some Nicole Miller earrings.

Before Summer Is Officially Over

I always hate when I go shopping in the middle of summer and I see that fall has already arrived at my favorite stores. Of course it doesn’t bother me too much because that means I can start shopping for the next season! It does however make me want a vacation as soon as possible.

Unfortunately I had so many fabulous things to attend to that I just couldn’t get away… until now. So I write to you -my faithful and jealous followers- from my exclusive and anonymous retreat.

And to tell you the truth it couldn’t have been timed better. The only thing going on in town this week -aside from the usual premiers- was a very negligible birthday party. My publicist, who is also Speidi’s publicist, begged me to go to Spencer’s birthday. I said who? and I left it at that. I do know Heidi from my charity for aspiring teen socialite’s but I have long since forgotten about her. Anyway I sent my gift - a pair of Harajuku pumps - that I’m sure they’ll both enjoy since they are one person, along with my most insincere regrets.

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I love getting away and not missing anything!

Roast The Tourists

Oh my my my… How summer does drag on.

If I were a normal Beverly Hills woman, I would be pulling out my hair from all of the frustration caused by the endless sea of tourists rushing in. It’s hard to get a table, it’s hard to get attentive service at any of the boutiques and it’s even hard to cross the street with out being trampled to death!

Thankfully I have plenty of special events and parties to distract me. One such event was last weekend at the CBS studios in Studio City –a place where most tourists never make it, thank god! It was the Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers – who I absolutely adore! Rick and I were at a table with Anna Faris in the front row which might have been too close for comfort considering Kathy Griffin was the roast master… What? I know everyone else adores her but she’s uglier than sin and she says nasty things about all my friends.

Anyway I was toting my Alexander McQueen Clutch, and Rocking my new Betsy Johnson Nyla Pumps. Of course I was the best dressed there especially when compared to Kathy. For more dish on the roast you’ll have to tune in next week because I have other things to do and a little suspense never hurt anyone.

Coai!