Roast Saige

So where was I...

Ah yes, I was telling all about The Roast of Joan Rivers. Well the funniest part of the whole thing was to see how in shambles all the comedians were. Tom Arnold was so drunk he couldn’t get a single joke out without having to roll back the prompter in the middle of it and start over. Mario Cantone went insane for a brief minute and had a seizure while being possessed by the premature ghost of Joan Rivers -I was so frightened I nearly called an exorcist. Hopefully Carl Reiner was wearing depends because he was sweating and stammering as though he had something extremely embarrassing to be worried about -other than his completely obvious lack of preparation. The other comedians were so negligible I won’t even bother…. Thankfully Joan saved the day and made the whole thing worthwhile.

Anyway, that was last week. This week it seems that someone is comparing themselves to me. Someone incredibly stinky and unfashionable -Saige. She seems to think her social life has come to imitate mine. She can only dream. The special events and exclusive parties that I attend actually exist. I point you to the lack of specificity in her stories as evidence. Never-the-less, I do have a soft spot in my heart for aspiring socialites (even though Saige is far from a teen) so I’m sending her a Mesh Clutch with Swarovski Crystals and some Croc Style Patent Booties.

Roast The Tourists

Oh my my my… How summer does drag on.

If I were a normal Beverly Hills woman, I would be pulling out my hair from all of the frustration caused by the endless sea of tourists rushing in. It’s hard to get a table, it’s hard to get attentive service at any of the boutiques and it’s even hard to cross the street with out being trampled to death!

Thankfully I have plenty of special events and parties to distract me. One such event was last weekend at the CBS studios in Studio City –a place where most tourists never make it, thank god! It was the Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers – who I absolutely adore! Rick and I were at a table with Anna Faris in the front row which might have been too close for comfort considering Kathy Griffin was the roast master… What? I know everyone else adores her but she’s uglier than sin and she says nasty things about all my friends.

Anyway I was toting my Alexander McQueen Clutch, and Rocking my new Betsy Johnson Nyla Pumps. Of course I was the best dressed there especially when compared to Kathy. For more dish on the roast you’ll have to tune in next week because I have other things to do and a little suspense never hurt anyone.

Coai!