Bored Out Of My Mind!

For the past week I have been bored out of my mind! This week is as uneventful as the last. In fact it's more uneventful because I can't even find an event worth making fun of! I should have stayed on vacation!

Anyway, when times like these persist, there are but two things I can do; shop and stir up controversy. And since I'm shopping online already, I would like to stir up some controversy. So last week, as you'll remember, I mentioned a birthday party that I wouldn't be caught dead attending (Speidi's). Well Saige on the other hand, being the ultra socialite that she is, was more than delighted to attend. Not only was she there, but she immediately posted the pictures she took at the party on Facebook. She has since removed them (most likely in light of Heidi's much made fun of performance at the Miss Universe Pageant - as if they weren't already embarassing enough to be seen with) but trust me, the pics were up and they were pathetic.

As sad as it was that she went, at least she looked decent. She came a long way from her dumpy, birkenstocky get up and I'm proud of her. She was wearing a dress by Haute Hippie with a pair of L.A.M.B. heels and some Nicole Miller earrings.

Before Summer Is Officially Over

I always hate when I go shopping in the middle of summer and I see that fall has already arrived at my favorite stores. Of course it doesn’t bother me too much because that means I can start shopping for the next season! It does however make me want a vacation as soon as possible.

Unfortunately I had so many fabulous things to attend to that I just couldn’t get away… until now. So I write to you -my faithful and jealous followers- from my exclusive and anonymous retreat.

And to tell you the truth it couldn’t have been timed better. The only thing going on in town this week -aside from the usual premiers- was a very negligible birthday party. My publicist, who is also Speidi’s publicist, begged me to go to Spencer’s birthday. I said who? and I left it at that. I do know Heidi from my charity for aspiring teen socialite’s but I have long since forgotten about her. Anyway I sent my gift - a pair of Harajuku pumps - that I’m sure they’ll both enjoy since they are one person, along with my most insincere regrets.

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I love getting away and not missing anything!

Roast Saige

So where was I...

Ah yes, I was telling all about The Roast of Joan Rivers. Well the funniest part of the whole thing was to see how in shambles all the comedians were. Tom Arnold was so drunk he couldn’t get a single joke out without having to roll back the prompter in the middle of it and start over. Mario Cantone went insane for a brief minute and had a seizure while being possessed by the premature ghost of Joan Rivers -I was so frightened I nearly called an exorcist. Hopefully Carl Reiner was wearing depends because he was sweating and stammering as though he had something extremely embarrassing to be worried about -other than his completely obvious lack of preparation. The other comedians were so negligible I won’t even bother…. Thankfully Joan saved the day and made the whole thing worthwhile.

Anyway, that was last week. This week it seems that someone is comparing themselves to me. Someone incredibly stinky and unfashionable -Saige. She seems to think her social life has come to imitate mine. She can only dream. The special events and exclusive parties that I attend actually exist. I point you to the lack of specificity in her stories as evidence. Never-the-less, I do have a soft spot in my heart for aspiring socialites (even though Saige is far from a teen) so I’m sending her a Mesh Clutch with Swarovski Crystals and some Croc Style Patent Booties.